BREAKING: Avenal’s One-Man Quorum Somehow Escapes Raid Despite Ongoing War on Mathematics

AvenalPress.com asks the obvious question: if we’re raiding people over alleged wrongdoing, when does the search warrant arrive for the meeting where […]

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🚨 ÚLTIMA HORA: El Recall Gana, Avenal Paga la Cuenta — y el Departamento de Bomberos Sigue Aquí

Después de más de $67,000, demandas, guerra política y suficiente drama de Facebook como para considerarlo un servicio público municipal, Avenal finalmente […]

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ÚLTIMA HORA: Tres candidatos al Concejo instalan su centro de inteligencia en Dollar General para vigilar el Ayuntamiento

La sede de campaña aparentemente incluye sillas plegables, binoculares y una cantidad preocupante de tiempo libre. AVENAL, CA — En lo que […]

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Three Council Candidates Establish Dollar General Intelligence Headquarters to Monitor City Hall

Campaign headquarters reportedly includes folding chairs, binoculars, and an alarming amount of free time. AVENAL, CA — In what political scientists are […]

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🚨 BREAKING: Gov. Newsom’s Hair Announces It Is Forming a Union Ahead of Possible Presidential Campaign 💇‍♂️🇺🇸

SACRAMENTO — In a shocking development that political insiders definitely did not make up, Governor Gavin Newsom’s hair has reportedly filed paperwork […]

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Editorial: Dear Avenal Chicanos… Who Told You Being American Meant Forgetting You Were Mexican?

Somewhere along the road between eating your abuela’s homemade tortillas and ordering an extra-large combo meal, some of us got confused. We […]

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