Welcome to AvenalPress.com, where satire is our specialty and sacred cows are always on the menu.
Where the headlines are sharp, the jokes are sharper, and nobody—not even us—is safe.
If you’re looking for straight news, you’ve probably taken a wrong turn at the internet.
If you’re looking to laugh, cringe, roll your eyes, or mutter, “They didn’t really just write that…” then you’ve it’s a arrived exactly where you were supposed to.
Our articles use satire, parody, exaggeration, irony, and opinion to poke fun at local politics, public personalities, internet drama, and ourselves. The purpose is commentary and humor—not to report literal events or make factual accusations.
Around here, nobody gets a permanent free pass.
If you’re a politician, expect to be roasted.
If you’re an activist, expect to be roasted.
If you’re a loudmouth on Facebook, expect to be roasted.
If you’re the editor… trust us, we’ve already roasted him.
Democracy has always survived criticism, cartoons, comedians, and editorial pages. In fact, the ability to laugh at ourselves is often a sign of a healthy community.
So before firing off a twelve-paragraph comment explaining why this article ruined your day, consider a radical alternative:
Take a breath.
Laugh if it’s funny.
Disagree if you must.
Then go volunteer, support a local business, attend a youth sporting event, help your neighbor, or spend time with your family.
The real Avenal is built by people doing those things—not by winning arguments in the comment section.
As for everyone preparing screenshots to prove we’re biased…
Thank you for the free advertising.
We’ll see you in tomorrow’s headlines.
— The Editor
AvenalPress.com
📰 AvenalPress.com | “All the News Fit to RePress.”
This publication contains satire, parody, opinion, and exaggerated commentary protected as free expression. Unless clearly stated otherwise, don’t confuse jokes with news—or outrage with journalism.