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Three Council Candidates Establish Dollar General Intelligence Headquarters to Monitor City Hall

Campaign headquarters reportedly includes folding chairs, binoculars, and an alarming amount of free time. AVENAL, CA — In what political scientists are […]

Avenal to Receive First Internationally Recognized Taco Embassy

By the Totally Serious Staff at AvenalPress.com AVENAL, CA — In what economists are calling “the biggest development since someone finally repainted […]

🚨 Anonymous Keyboard Warrior Reportedly Posts 47th “Bombshell” of the Week — Community Pretends to Be Shocked 🚨

AVENAL — Residents were stunned this morning after an anonymous social media account released yet another “earth-shattering exposé” that experts say has […]

BREAKING: King Mayor Forms Historic Alliance with the Kingdom of Kings County

AVENAL — In a stunning display of governmental efficiency, Avenal’s self-proclaimed monarch has reportedly announced a new governing philosophy: “Why have local […]

Breaking: Mayor Alvaro Preciado Announces Re-Election Campaign, Promises to Use His “Inside Voice”

By the Staff at AvenalPress.comAll the news fit to rePress. AVENAL — After surviving what historians are already calling “The Great Facebook […]

🚨 BREAKING: Gov. Newsom’s Hair Announces It Is Forming a Union Ahead of Possible Presidential Campaign 💇‍♂️🇺🇸

SACRAMENTO — In a shocking development that political insiders definitely did not make up, Governor Gavin Newsom’s hair has reportedly filed paperwork […]