Whatever the judge decides, residents are advised that Tuesday will still arrive on schedule.
AVENAL, CA — The City of Avenal is waiting for a court decision that could determine whether the recent recall becomes an official election result or gets tossed because somebody allegedly failed the most important part of democracy:
Following the instructions.
Yes, after months of petitions, accusations, special meetings, lawyers, Facebook dissertations, dramatic interviews, county involvement and enough political theater to qualify Avenal for its own Emmy category, the whole production may ultimately come down to a question considerably less exciting:
Did everybody actually follow California election law?
We know. Boring.
Unfortunately, democracy has this annoying obsession with procedure.
Meanwhile, Most of Avenal Will Continue Being Avenal
Regardless of what the court decides, residents should prepare themselves for a shocking development:
Your life probably won’t change very much tomorrow morning.
People will still go to work.
Kids will still go to school.
The water will still need to run.
The streets will still need repairs.
City employees will still have actual jobs to perform.
And someone on Facebook will still announce that they have uncovered the REAL STORY using three screenshots, fourteen exclamation points and absolutely no paragraphs.
Most importantly, a court ruling about the recall does not automatically make the Avenal Fire Department disappear in a puff of smoke.
Apparently government is more complicated than:
RECALL COUNCIL → DELETE FIRE DEPARTMENT → RESTORE COUNTY CONTRACT → EVERYBODY GO HOME.
The city’s fire department is now an operating public agency with firefighters, equipment, responsibilities and residents depending upon emergency services.
You can’t return a fire department to Costco because the political argument that helped inspire a recall didn’t work out the way somebody expected.
And Yes, There Is Still an Election in November
Here’s another plot twist:
November is still happening.
Even if the recall survives the court challenge, the regular municipal election continues.
And if the recall is invalidated?
November continues.
The current mayor can still run for council.
Other candidates can run.
Voters can vote.
People dissatisfied with the current council can participate in the ancient democratic tradition known as:
BEATING THEM IN AN ELECTION.
It’s admittedly less exciting than press conferences, lawsuits and emergency Facebook Lives.
But we’ve checked.
Voting remains legal.
If the Recall Is Upheld: Prepare for “Those Votes Don’t Count!”
Should the court determine that the recall results stand, one might expect the recall supporters to celebrate.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
You’re new here.
Within approximately eleven minutes, somebody will probably discover another conspiracy.
Council votes taken while the dispute was being litigated?
ILLEGAL!
Budgets?
ILLEGAL!
Meeting minutes?
ILLEGAL!
Someone ordering printer toner?
TREASON!
The inconvenient reality is that cities don’t get to stop operating while everybody argues over who gets which chair on the dais.
A city needs a budget.
Employees need paychecks.
Bills need paying.
Firefighters need equipment.
Public works crews need supplies.
Without appropriations, eventually you’re not staging a principled defense of democracy.
You’re furloughing the lady processing your water bill because Facebook demanded constitutional purity.
Government continuing to function while courts determine who’s legally entitled to govern isn’t necessarily a conspiracy.
Sometimes it’s just Tuesday at City Hall.
If the Recall Gets Tossed: Please Proceed Directly to November
Now suppose the court decides the recall process was legally defective.
Will everybody calmly accept the ruling and focus on November?
Of course.
And Taco Bell will start selling kale.
If the recall is invalidated, expect another pilgrimage to the Kings County Board of Supervisors, accompanied by cameras, speeches and declarations that democracy has died somewhere approximately between Avenal and Hanford.
But here’s the beautiful thing:
There’s already another election coming.
November.
You don’t like the council?
Campaign against them.
You think they’ve done a terrible job?
Tell voters.
You believe you’ve got better candidates?
Elect them.
That’s literally what elections are for.
You don’t need to declare yourself a revolutionary every time somebody disagrees with you.
COMING SOON: ANOTHER TRIP TO THE BOARD OF SUPERVISORS
Whatever happens in court, we confidently predict at least one political tradition will survive:
Somebody from Avenal will go complain to the Kings County Board of Supervisors.
Possibly with television cameras nearby.
Because nothing demonstrates your commitment to local control quite like repeatedly traveling to another government and asking its politicians to intervene in yours.
There will be speeches.
There will be accusations.
There may be folders.
Someone will probably say “the people demand answers.”
And somewhere in Avenal, approximately 15,000 other people will be making dinner.
Avenal Is More Than This Circus
And beneath all the jokes, here’s the part that actually matters.
Avenal is a real community.
People work here.
Families raise children here.
Businesses invest here.
Teachers teach here.
Firefighters answer emergencies here.
Volunteers organize events here.
City employees show up every morning and perform remarkably uncontroversial tasks like maintaining parks, processing permits and trying to keep municipal government functioning.
Most residents are not spending every waking hour plotting against their neighbors.
Yet if your only exposure to Avenal came from certain Facebook pages, television appearances and political theatrics, you’d assume we’re conducting a small Central Valley civil war between council meetings.
We’re not.
Political disagreement is normal.
Elections are normal.
Losing elections is normal.
Winning elections is normal.
Courts settling disputes is normal.
What isn’t healthy is turning every disagreement into another opportunity to announce that you’re being persecuted while simultaneously dragging the entire city’s reputation through the mud.
At some point, if you’re constantly telling television cameras that your hometown is corrupt, broken, dangerous and lawless, don’t act surprised when outsiders begin believing you.
Avenal deserves better advertising than that.
THE COURT WILL RULE. AVENAL WILL SURVIVE.
Maybe the recall stands.
Maybe it doesn’t.
Either way, the sun will rise over Avenal.
The Fire Department will still have emergencies to answer.
City employees will still have work waiting.
Candidates will still campaign.
November voters will still get their say.
And somewhere, someone will stare directly into a television camera and bravely announce:
“THIS ISN’T OVER.”
No.
Apparently it never is.
AvenalPress.com
All the news fit to rePress.
Todas las noticias bien refritas. 🍳
SATIRE NOTICE: AvenalPress.com is satire, parody and commentary. Jokes, exaggeration and fictionalized dialogue are used to comment on public controversies and public figures. Statements about disputed legal proceedings should not be understood as findings of fact. For those, please consult the actual court records—which, tragically, contain significantly fewer jokes.